I'd be willing to stake a fortune on the fact that the majority of couples have some sort of cutesy dialect that they speak to each other. Whether it be a bit of baby talk here and there or pet names for each other, it's just a typical sign of affection. Go on, tell me you don't. If you're still insisting that you don't you're either a sociopath or you're lying.
But as with anything these days, there will always be someone who takes it way too far.
Enter stage right: This guy.
Redditor u/smallslicedskin's husband is not your average sort of baby-talker. The guy is a specialist in it. Where there is a word to be said, he'll baby-ify it for you. It is a unique art form, and oh boy, is he practicing it.
She writes some examples of her husband's distinct dialect.
Examples: doggo, pupper, woofer/subwoofer, pibble, hooty-boy, peepo, birb, meowmeow, sammy, sammiches, sammywhammy, chicky nuggies, chicky tendies, adding a toddleresque "lisp" to words, and the ones that really get gross are childish euphemisms for genitalia or sex.
u/smallslicedskin has been driven to her absolute wit's end by her constant exposure to this bizarre display of cuteness and she wants a little relief. So when her husband started with his antics at the grocery store, she had had enough and left him there to fend for himself. How cruel to do that to a 3-year-old.
For more marriage majesty… Check out this husband who demanded 50% of his wife's business after not supporting and ridiculing her idea.
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